Wed, September 28th.
Forgive the music choice today. It's equally beautiful yet haunting. It's currently 5:48 PM and I'm in Lyons. My lover is flying to California where she will then board another plane to Tokyo. I am staying behind until Japan accepts my visa.
I'm not depressed. I'm not happy either. I'm in that state of just existing. With the world around me, moving as it does, I'm just left to see it happen and make the small moves that I can. I might have smoked a bit of kush on the way home so perhaps that's why I'm writing like a novice romantic.
Here I sit, on the back porch of my brothers home, watching him park cars for a dinner. It's so nice outside, the clouds are going across the blue sky as if they're clouds going across a blue sky lol.
In Kaba news, Jaan and DJ got their custom orders today. They both love their stuff and that makes me feel good honestly. I was talking to my lover the other day about the feeling that people get from buying things and I said "It's disgusting how people enjoy paying so much for a product" and she reminded me that I am a brand creating stuff. I laughed and realized that's true. I don't think like that however, the idea that I'm just a brand making shit to be sold. I really believe that I'm selling my art, pieces of me.
Perhaps it's a good time to read a book. Robert Whiting's Tokyo Junkie still needs to be finished and it's a great evening to unwind.
Before I go, I'd just like to remind myself that this life you're living. This moment you have, sitting on the back porch watching your brother, this is it. Life is not the future and it's not the idea of making millions of dollars. It's the moments in your day that you notice, the time that you appreciate. I'll miss Colorado so much when I finally get the chance to leave, and I'll miss my brother most of all.